


fragile

by kirstenlauren



Category: The Fosters (TV 2013)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Slow Burn, connor is his knight in shining armor pretty much, i don't even know what to put here but i hate not having a lot of tags hahaha, jude is sad and fragile, my faves!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-30
Updated: 2015-08-30
Packaged: 2018-04-18 04:42:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4692446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kirstenlauren/pseuds/kirstenlauren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three times Connor had to fix Jude and the one time he broke him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	fragile

Jude was fragile. He had it written all over, from the way he always looked down at his shoes, the way his eyebrows creased into thought before he ever said anything, the way he picked at his fingernails in nervousness, the way he clutched at his journal that held all of this thoughts and memories, the way his stance was always ready to run, to hide.

 

Connor knew this. He knew it from the day he met him. Connor was loud; he was obnoxious even. His laugh was echoing and his smile stretched across his face like sunshine.  He was positive and confident and an athlete and everything that Jude wasn’t.

 

But even so, they worked. They fit together like two puzzle pieces. From that day they met in math class, they’d been best friends since.

 

\--

 

When Jude’s adoption first fell through, Connor had found him curled in a ball in his closet, with his knees tucked in and his arms wrapped around them.

 

Connor wordlessly joined him in the small, cramped space. He wrapped his arms around him and leaned his chin on his shoulder.

 

They sat together like that, silently. Connor’s legs were cramping and falling asleep in the tiny space but he didn’t care. Jude needed someone and Connor wanted to be that someone.

 

“I’m never going to have a family.” Jude said eventually, sniffling.

 

“I’ll be your family.” Connor said automatically. _I’ll be everything you ever need._

 

Jude raised his head and gave a watery smile over to Connor, leaning over to rest his head on his shoulder.

 

\--

 

When Jude came out, Connor was nothing but supportive. _You’re my best friend,_ he had said simply.

But everyone else didn’t have that same reaction.

 

The news travelled around school like a tsunami wave. Some people disapproved and they made an effort to show it. But Jude held his head high, or at least he tried to.

 

A week after Jude came out, Connor was walking to where he and Jude met every day after school. Jude was waiting there for him, as usual.

 

“Hey Jude—“ Something was wrong.

 

Jude was slumped and an oversized hoodie was covering half of his face (it was a hot day in May). “What happened?”

 

Then Jude turned to look at him and a blue and purple bruise blossomed over his eye and temple. And then Jude’s eyes were watering and Connor looked like he was suddenly capable of murder and Jude ran to him and collapsed into Connor’s open arms. They were enveloped in each other and Jude’s grip was so tight that Connor was having a hard time breathing. But he didn’t care. _I’ll be everything you ever need._

“It’s okay, it’s okay, I’m here, I’m here,” Connor said, wrapping his arms around Jude’s back and his hands into his hair.

 

Jude was crying loudly at this point. Tears fell and soaked through Connor’s cotton t-shirt and they stood there, holding each other. It’s comforting and it’s what Jude needed and he loved Connor for it. Maybe a little too much.

 

\--

 

Then Jude got his first boyfriend. Jude put his all into the relationship. He was happy. He thought maybe he might’ve even loved him. But seven months later, the boyfriend broke Jude’s heart. “You’re just too clingy,” the guy had said.

 

When Connor heard the news, he made his way over to Jude’s house. Creaking open the door of his bedroom and quietly closing it again, Connor tiptoed over to where Jude was laying on the bed, facing the wall.

 

Jude wasn’t asleep but he doesn’t open his eyes either, even when Connor climbed in next to him. Connor wriggled around to get comfortable and props his elbow on a pillow and placed a hand on Jude’s waist. “Jude?”

 

Jude hummed in response and turned around to face Connor. It was quiet and the two of them just looked at each other. Connor wasn’t sure what to say. Jude didn’t look as though he had been crying but his eyes were tired and his mouth looked like it hadn’t smiled in days.

 

Connor was about to say something, anything, just to break the silence but then Jude spoke up.

 

“I love you, Connor,” he said. His voice was barely a whisper. They’ve said this to each other before. They’d sign each other’s birthday and Christmas cards with it. They’d play that game where they’d make a funny face and say “would you still love me if I looked like this?” (The answer was always yes). But it was different this time.

 

“Do you love me back?” Jude asked.

 

“Of course,” Connor said, as if it were obvious. “Of course I love you.” He hoped it sounded however Jude wanted it to sound. _I’ll be everything you ever need._

 

Another beat of silence. “Will you kiss me?” Jude asked.

 

That was something they’d never done. Connor had kissed Jude’s hair and his forehead before and they had kissed briefly during a game of Spin the Bottle. It wasn’t weird. But this… this was different.

 

Connor leaned in without question and Jude met him halfway. The kiss was slow and soft.

 

Connor didn’t know what this meant. But he tried not to think about it. But that part was easy. Neither of them brought it up again.

 

\--

 

A while later, Connor got a girlfriend. She was pretty and sweet and laughed at everything Connor said.

 

Jude hated her. Jude hated how he used to be the most important person in Connor’s life and now… he just wasn’t.

 

Jude began to fade away. He stopped responding to Connor’s texts and avoided him in the school hallways.

 

It affected Connor too. Connor would think of something funny and turn to tell Jude but then he’d remember—Jude wasn’t there.

 

“Please talk to me,” Connor said one day, pleading, finally catching Jude alone.

 

“Okay. Then let’s talk,” Jude said, not even looking over at him.

 

At this point, Connor was simply exasperated. “What do you want from me? What do you want me to do to fix this?” _I can’t be everything you ever need._

 

And Connor knew. Of course he knew.

 

And then they were all over each other with hands in each other’s hair and they were kissing.

 

This was bliss, Connor realized. He hadn’t realized how miserable he’d been without Jude. He hadn’t realized how much nicer it was to be kissing Jude.

 

Maybe, just maybe, Jude would be mended. Maybe, just maybe, Connor would be the only one ever able to heal him. Maybe, just maybe, they were both everything they ever needed.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! This was inspired by a Lourry(hahaha yeah yeah yeah) fic I read yeeeears ago (probably in like 2012 or so) so this has been in my head for a while. I'll link it if I ever find it again! 
> 
> Feedback always appreciated. Find me on Tumblr: thiojames.tumblr.com!


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